Articles about swinging and swingers lifestyle
Questions and answers about swingers lifestyleYou raise some very thorough questions that many ask, so I'll try to answer them as well as I can in the space provided here.Q. This doesnt seem like a real marriage to me...If couples wanna sleep around with others then why even bother getting married just stay single? A. Because swingers don't base the reason they are married on being able to legitimately have sex. Sex is not the reason for marriage. It is part of the marriage, part of the relationship, but only a part. With or without sex they are attracted to each other in so many other ways. Unfortunately, our society's belief that you must be married to have sex translates to "Get married to have sex", so that is what people do. The confuse sex and love as being the same thing. They think that because someone makes them horny that they must be "in love" with them. A real marriage is much, ,much more than sex. Q. I would worry about std's and my spouse falling for another person and leaving me for that other person not to mention a woman getting pregnant with another man's baby? A. I guess if the reason you are married is to have sex, than your spouse having sex with someone else could cause them to "fall in love" with them and leave you. If you are married because of everything besides sex, and sex is simply part of your relationship, than no sex with someone else, regardless of how earth-shattering it could be, would ever lure your spouse away, because it's only sex. They can have goo sex with lots of other people, but they can only have what they have outside of sex in your relationship with you. As far as STD's and pregnancy goes, swingers are by far more careful and practice safe sex far more regularily than non-married singles. Although the risks are there, they take every precaution to minimize them. Q. I dont understand why a man/woman would want to share their spouse with so many others? A. Because sharing is their sexual fantasy, and in some cases sharing emotionally is what is fulfilling for them in a relationship manner. This is a hard concept for some to wrap their mind around. Q. I think its sad and i dont think these people know what a real marriage is and if they have kids its even worse. A. Maybe they know more than others what a marriage really is. They've taken sex down off the alter and no longer worship it as being the the center of their relationship and the reason that they got married. They have taken sex and put it in the proper place amongst all the emotional and supportive things that make a real relationship/marriage. As far as kids go, kids are no more part of their private sex life as your kids or anyone else's are a part of theirs. Q. I have read where swingers and people with open marriage says its not cheating if they are both ok with it but its still adultery in god's eyes and im not a religious person but im sure god wouldnt approve of this. A. You say you are not religious, but then make a religious judgment. If you do your reading of the Old Testament you'll find that virtually every one of God's "holiest" men practiced plural marriage, and God would reward men with additional wives for doing for good deeds. In fact, there are 22 references supporting non-monogamy in the Bible and only 8 against it. Knowing that, which side of the fence to you think God is on when it comes to responsible, ethical non-monogamy? And no, swingers and polyamorists and those with open marriages in other forms do not see it as cheating, because cheating involved deception and lying. Sharing is a whole different deal. Even today, 2/3's of the world's population lives in societies (many Christian) where plural marriage is not only recognized by the government, it's also socially acceptable. Even Christianity as a whole has practiced plural marriage throughout history, especially after wars have left many widows and fatherless children and the Church as okayed men to take up to 10 wives to care for them and their children. Q. When you get married you suppose to "forsake all others" not f*ck all others lol...Apparently these couples are not sexually satisfied with each other if they need to do this. A. for·sake /f?r?se?k/ –verb (used with object), -sook, -sak·en, -sak·ing. 1. to quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert 2. to give up or renounce Couples with varying degrees of open relationships are in no way "forsaking" their spouse based on the dictionary's definition of "forsake". In fact, those that divorce their spouse to be with someone else are. These are called "serial monogamists" because they fall in love for awhile and when someone else comes along that piques their interest, even if they are still in love with their primary partner they leave them because society says that's how it works. They don't seem to be able to accept the fact that they can have feelings for more than one person at a time (except for their kids and other family). They feel that they have to leave one good relationship to have another relationship with someone else that adds a different dimension to their life. They can't accept both at the same time. Swingers, polyamorists and others have accepted this, that no one person can be everything to them and to their spouse, that everyone touches us in some manner and adds to our life to varying degrees. They accept that love, even romantic love is not a finite resource. It is infinite, and being in love with one person, or being attracted sexually to one person in no way subtracts or detracts from what they feel for their primary partner or spouse. It is a common misconception to believe that it's all about sex and that they are not satisfied sexually with their spouse so they look for satisfaction outside their relationship. As you can see above, nothing can be further from the truth than this belief. Other articles about swinging |