Articles about swinging and swingers lifestyle
FAQ's of Swinging"This doesnt seem like a real marriage to me...If couples wanna sleep around with others then why even bother getting married just stay single...."Oh it's a real marriage alright. We have our good and bad points just like any other couple. The main difference is in the way we choose to measure our success. Monogamous couples use their propensity to sexual exclusivity to gauge whether or not their relationship is healthy. We do not. We do not use anything sexual to measure the health of our relationship. We prefer to rely on less volatile and fickle measuring sticks. "I would worry about std's" Actually, because of the written-in-stone rule of full disclosure that goes hand in hand with swinging, there is nothing hidden. Of necessity, there must be a certain level of integrity when we are looking for play partners. We have a family and a life and we do not wish to contract a potentially incurable STD. Therefore, we educate ourselves, we arm ourselves (with condoms), and we look for couples who are equally as paranoid as us. It is a risk, but given these circumstances, the risk is very, very small. " and [I worry about] my spouse falling for another person and leaving me for that other person" Most swingers (the successful ones at least) are confident enough in their relationship that this isn't a concern. After all, it's not every day that you can find someone who is secure enough in themselves to allow you to have sex with other people and still stay around!! What idiot would throw that kind of generosity away?? " not to mention a woman getting pregnant with another man's baby..." Again, the people we get involved with are equally as concerned about this sort of thing. For us, it's not a concern as I got my tubes tied a long time ago. We would still be very careful to ensure whatever precautions necessary were taken. "I dont understand why a man/woman would want to share their spouse with so many others..." Because my husband, while I love spending my life with him, does not belong to me. Marriage has come to equal ownership over another human being. It's almost like putting a wedding band on someone is the same as "staking your claim". Like that means you have some right to change that person, or demand something of him. I do not feel that I have any right whatsoever to impinge upon his liberty. This is not a matter of insecurity; it's a matter of morality. It feels immoral to me to make demands upon the life of another person, who was whole and complete without me, just to stroke and soothe my fragile ego. The reason we want to share arises from this thought pattern. If I found lipstick on my husband's collar while I was doing laundry, or caught the scent of another woman's perfume on him, the last thing I would be is angry! For me, this is a turn-on. I'd want him to give me every juicy detail. I know it's difficult to fathom, but, no, we're not crazy. We just think differently! "I think its sad and i dont think these people know what a real marriage is and if they have kids its even worse..." Think what you like, but I've seen some pretty sad "monogamous" marriages. Is it actually a successful marriage if they've gotten through 35 years of strict monogamy...and they're totally unhappy? REAL marriage is so much more than just sex. "I have read where swingers and people with open marriage says its not cheating if they are both ok with it but its still adultery in god's eyes and im not a religious person but im sure god wouldnt approve of this...." Well when you hear from Him and He tells you how displeased He is, let us know. All I know is we're supposed to mind our own businesses and follow our own paths, because none of us is fit to judge anyone, unless it's by a yardstick we don't mind being judged by ourselves. And if you're not a religious person, why the hell bring it up in the first place? It just says to me that you're digging for anything you can find that you can use as ammunition to further your own views. BTW, adultery is wrong because people are hurt by it. Otherwise, why would God condemn it? If what we do doesn't hurt anyone - TRULY doesn't harm anyone - then where is the fault in that?? "When you get married you suppose to "forsake all others" not f*ck all others lol..." We did forsake all others...emotionally. Our lives are bonded together. We're married because we want to spend our lives together. Having sex with other people doesn't detract from that. In fact, it's something we share together. "Apparently these couples are not sexually satisfied with each other if they need to do this." That is patently false. Usually these couples are MORE than satisfied with one another, and this is the next step in their sexual relationship as it has evolved over time. When it works for them, they'll find they can't keep their hands off each other for days, sometimes weeks, after they've had a swinging encounter. This won't get me the 10 points, but I had to respond to this. It bothers me that people so readily believe the lies they're told. Source(s): http://www.swingersboard.com Other articles about swinging |